There is a certain man, who I have known most of my life. He is a humble man, dedicated, conservative, compassionate, and seemingly wise. This man and his wife have four healthy children. Their children are kind, athletic and intelligent. He has a successful business and has invested his resources wisely. A wealthy man he was. Whenever I saw him, he asked caring questions and always wore a smile. He seemed to be genuinely interested in others and his deep caring voice would fit any grandfather well. Both of his hands were always ready to shake yours and his eyes were warm with a smile. No matter how far he had driven that day or what the weather was like it didn't matter, he was predictable. He listened when one spoke to him and answered with sound wisdom.

One day I was riding in the car with him. He asked me if I had a girlfriend and at that time of my life I hadn't. He nodded and told me a story of when he was in college (his 22 years of it). The women, he said, "were very attractive and inviting." They had been interested in him and there were many who he thought were nice. What he told me next left an impression. I was in middle-school at that time, and the hormones and appreciation for beautiful women was becoming a new and exciting part of my life. All men have lots of questions about women. In college, I am around many men, or should I say boys, who are consumed with finding the answers.I had lots of questions, all of which I was afraid to ask. The wisdom he shared with me that day seemed to answer a lot of them. He told me that he was looking for someone special. Only one of the many charming and beautiful women would be his lifelong mate. It was sometimes hard. Knowing that there was someone special out there was why he was willing to ignore the other womens' nice things and wait for the one beauty to pursue. He explained to me that his wife was a true prize. For some reason, I understood what he meant.

Life happened. Recently, an illness struck this man and tested his character. He recovered physically from this illness, but something had died in the process. Everything was back to business at work and he was able to run things. Business was slow because of a weak economy. It was a living allegory of his own failing body. When he came home from work to his "fortress in the hills" he retreated to the dungeon and made love with the idiot box. His mind was at ease and the problems of the world were easily summed up by CNN anchormen. Confusing negativity was unable to reach him from the dungeon. He was at ease in the dungeon. Everything around him could be controlled. The lights could be bright or dim. The sound on the TV could be loud or soft. The temperature could be turned up or down. The door could be locked to keep him from being bothered. Life was safe down there. No more negativity could reach him. No more illness could reach his ears. He was safe from all distractions especally his current situation.

The man's wife and children continued their busy lives as usual. His wife ran the kids to their sporting events, practices, doctor visits, grocery shopping, did laundry, cleaning and cooking. Her man was working hard eigth hours of the day. The rest of the day he spent in the dungeon.

I found out yesterday that his wife had left him. He was a gentle person and I know that he was not physically or verbally abusive. He didn't seem to be the type to cheat on his wife. His marriage is gone and legacy is now scarred forever.

C'mon man! Get a grip. What's more important? Is your family unity and marriage or an empty, numb, life-sucking, lonely TV land. How about your stock options and mutual funds? What would you spend to get the best family and marriage counselors? How far would you travel? Is work so important that you couldn't take an extended period of time off to pour your time into your family. Think of what you could have had, man! What did you lose? What do you have left? Your could take your wife to some tropical island and patch up relationships. Maybe it's not worth it. Maybe you can start over again at sixty and become really close with all the television networks.

Good Hope in Africa

I went to South Africa for four weeks in 2003. I met a lot of random people and took a 1,500 mile road trip up the coast of Africa surfing and staying in the boonies with Afrikkaners, Xhosa, Zulus, Brits, and ex-pro surfers. For two weeks I traveled with a guy from California who knew how to surf. I knew how to paddle my board and nearly drown myself but that was about it. Brad's website is http://speerinsa.com here are pictures of our trip http://speerinsa.com/drupal/node/190 and, yes, the Xhosa natives do their ceremonial dances topless. Whoopie-doo... grow-up.

Here I am with the most beautiful woman in the world in one of the coldest places on earth: Holland, MI in January. The white snow makes my teeth look really yellow. Lake Michigan smiles... : )

Brian's Blog

This is the beginning of my blogging experience.